Saturday, February 07, 2004
COMING OUT Jackie D has a post on “coming out”, an issue I should have addressed earlier myself:
I've come out to most of my friends, and with some of them it's been pretty painless; a few of them admitted to me that they, too, had feelings and urges similar to mine, but that they had learned through bitter experience to keep it to themselves. Some of them just said, "Hey, no problem -- I love you and will support you anyway." None of my friends have actually said to me, "Look, this changes everything. We can't be friends, now," but there have been frosty moments, and some necessary distance has been put me and a couple of them. I don't so much mind that, though, because I don't need intolerant jerks as friends. And of course the friends I've made in "the community" have helped immensely
Truth is, I myself am a bit of a coward and have by and large not come out yet. Why not I have been wondering to myself? Am I scared my friends will turn away in disgust? Well, most of the closer ones suspect it anyway, it’s just the full, uninhibited flaunting that would put them off I think. They’d probably accept that too, because I don’t think any of my friends are intolerant jerks (I hope anyway). No, it’s the wider society I live in and the people I work with; it just isn’t worth the hassle being honest. Ok, so if people ask me directly and in a non-judgemental way I might just consider admitting it, but I certainly won’t volunteer it.
I've come out to most of my friends, and with some of them it's been pretty painless; a few of them admitted to me that they, too, had feelings and urges similar to mine, but that they had learned through bitter experience to keep it to themselves. Some of them just said, "Hey, no problem -- I love you and will support you anyway." None of my friends have actually said to me, "Look, this changes everything. We can't be friends, now," but there have been frosty moments, and some necessary distance has been put me and a couple of them. I don't so much mind that, though, because I don't need intolerant jerks as friends. And of course the friends I've made in "the community" have helped immensely
Truth is, I myself am a bit of a coward and have by and large not come out yet. Why not I have been wondering to myself? Am I scared my friends will turn away in disgust? Well, most of the closer ones suspect it anyway, it’s just the full, uninhibited flaunting that would put them off I think. They’d probably accept that too, because I don’t think any of my friends are intolerant jerks (I hope anyway). No, it’s the wider society I live in and the people I work with; it just isn’t worth the hassle being honest. Ok, so if people ask me directly and in a non-judgemental way I might just consider admitting it, but I certainly won’t volunteer it.
