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Saturday, July 24, 2004

GAY MARRIAGE: TOO EMOTIONAL AN ISSUE?
Gay marriage is an issue on which I can't make up my mind. Instinctively I'm in favour, but there's this nagging feeling that in terms of principles it may be wrong and I just haven't had the time to think it through fully. I'm concerned that saying yes will be more out of fashion than conviction, and I'm afraid I'd say no just to buck fashion rather than out of conviction. But I think my soft spot is seeing many of the gay marriages or civil unions or whatever they're called on telly and thinking they look so happy and fulfilled. Here's a piece that made a similar impression on me:
Our wedding was scheduled for a Tuesday. . . my father, my brother, one of my oldest friends, and one of our newest friends each took one of the four poles holding up the chuppah. We stood under it with both of our kids, and the rabbi explained that the canopy is our temporary home, whose walls are wobbly and need our friends and family to hold them up. I scanned the crowd of friends. At least three of them were crying.
The rabbi wrapped us in his prayer shawl and told us to close our eyes to listen to each other's breath. Pressed against my lover, thinking only of her and not of our children or the laundry or whose turn it is to get up, I felt more in love with her than ever. When I opened my eyes, I saw that now almost everyone was either crying or struggling to hold back tears.
. . .
Because we could, and also because this was the first time we made our relationship visible in such a way that other people were moved to tears. And yes, I do think that the visibility, combined with the memory of listening to my wife's breath when we were wrapped in the prayer shawl, will help hold up the walls of our home.
Am I too soft? I remember it was the same feeling that led me to endorse Gene Robinson's ascent into bishophood, despite being nervous about the damage this might to to the Church's cohesion. On the other hand good to see, that nothing bad effectively resulted from that.
All difficult, difficult, though here’s an interesting idea for compromise concerning the link between marriage and parenting.

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